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OP: 28 Goods vs 5 No Goods
Thread: 411 Goods vs 169 No Goods

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Lassie

My thoughts, as someone who read your post: you should just use 1. or 1) and not 1.) so that you don’t come off as an undergread.

My thoughts, as someone on the job market for the third consecutive year:
1.) Is there not a university full of highly-educated, non-h1llb1lly academics with whom you could associate?
2.) Are there professional, non-faculty positions at your university for which your spouse would be qualified?
3.) As someone with a TT job, it is easy for you to say "consider the location before you take a job." As someone who will unemployed in May and has applied to about 175 TT jobs to date over 3 cycles, it is not easy for me to say "I won't take that job if it's not in a major northeastern city."

9 months ago # QUOTE 0 YEA 5 NAY !
Eunice

I'd be thrilled if i ended up in a department where people don't want to talk about political science all the time.

I talk politics w my colleagues regularly; political science not so much.

9 months ago # QUOTE 8 YEA 0 NAY !
Lesley

Just wondering, at the institution you're leaving, did they provide adequate training for grad students? I'm also looking for a change. My advisor won't give me the training I desperately need, and the department chair doesn't really care. I absolutely need training, maybe I can lateral just as you're doing?

9 months ago # QUOTE 0 YEA 1 NAY !
Elisa

Just wondering, at the institution you're leaving, did they provide adequate training for grad students? I'm also looking for a change. My advisor won't give me the training I desperately need, and the department chair doesn't really care. I absolutely need training, maybe I can lateral just as you're doing?

Wtf are you talking about? OP's leaving one TT for another, not changing graduate programs. Your advisor can't train you how to read, that's on you. Publish or it doesn't matter what program you go to.

9 months ago # QUOTE 6 YEA 1 NAY !
Nelson

I'm in a very passionate relationship with a colleague whose husband refuses to live in our "hick" college town. The sex is amazing. He lives in a different city. I'm surprised he is willing to give her up so he can live his urban lifestyle, but his wife and I are not complaining. Every time she screams with pleasure during her multiple orgasms I thank God for commuter marriages.
Similar situation. She doesn't want to hurt him but she is young and needs the comfort of a man on a regular basis. He lives several hundred miles away.

And you're just the person to give her that comfort, aren't you, you f-cking home wrecker.

Very satisfying

9 months ago # QUOTE 6 YEA 1 NAY !
Krystine

Infidelity is not funny. The sad fact is that many academic jobs are in terrible places: flyover country, Dixie, Trump America, whatever other places well educated folk rightly avoid like the plague. So, many academics have to deal with long-distance relationships or else themselves commute great distances to their jobs for a few days a week. It sucks, but that's how many of us deal with the fact that our industry has real geographical drawbacks. If only they would just put the universities and colleges where the educated people are; what good do satellite campuses in the hinterlands really do, anyway?

9 months ago # QUOTE 2 YEA 7 NAY !
Fortune

Infidelity is not funny. The sad fact is that many academic jobs are in terrible places: flyover country, Dixie, Trump America, whatever other places well educated folk rightly avoid like the plague. So, many academics have to deal with long-distance relationships or else themselves commute great distances to their jobs for a few days a week. It sucks, but that's how many of us deal with the fact that our industry has real geographical drawbacks. If only they would just put the universities and colleges where the educated people are; what good do satellite campuses in the hinterlands really do, anyway?

Life is to short to spend it alone. If your spouse/partner is the kind of person who is unwilling to live in the same place as you because they view it as "the hinterlands" that's all you need to know. The relationship is over. License for infedility has been granted, enroute to divorce.

9 months ago # QUOTE 4 YEA 1 NAY !
Alfreda

Living hundreds of miles apart creates opportunities. Lots of people in this situation waking up this morning after a long satisfying night of aggressive sex with a lover. The spouse will never know.

9 months ago # QUOTE 3 YEA 1 NAY !
Marlin

Living hundreds of miles apart creates opportunities. Lots of people in this situation waking up this morning after a long satisfying night of aggressive sex with a lover. The spouse will never know.

I talk to my wife by phone or text nearly every day and we spend a long weekend together once a month. No chance this could be happening in our marriage.

9 months ago # QUOTE 4 YEA 0 NAY !
Saffron

Your commuter marriage is doomed. But you just got a revise and resubmit from Foreign Policy Analysis!!! So it all balances out.

9 months ago # QUOTE 9 YEA 0 NAY !
Murray

Your commuter marriage is doomed. But you just got a revise and resubmit from Foreign Policy Analysis!!! So it all balances out.

The sex is great

9 months ago # QUOTE 2 YEA 0 NAY !
Roselle

You think your long distance wife is being faithful, but she isn't.

9 months ago # QUOTE 2 YEA 0 NAY !
Demelza

You think your long distance wife is being faithful, but she isn't.

Probably not. Most women just aren’t as ho rny as the typical male. There are exceptions, of course. But generally speaking, women just don’t need it as much.

9 months ago # QUOTE 1 YEA 1 NAY !
Jenni

Living hundreds of miles apart creates opportunities. Lots of people in this situation waking up this morning after a long satisfying night of aggressive sex with a lover. The spouse will never know.

I talk to my wife by phone or text nearly every day and we spend a long weekend together once a month. No chance this could be happening in our marriage.

Your wife and I are having an affair.

9 months ago # QUOTE 2 YEA 0 NAY !
Antwan

I agree with OP. The relationship is more important than the job. If your husband is unhappy living in a rural college town you have a duty to quit the job and be with him.

Plenty of people would be thrilled to have a TT job in a rural area. But it isn't fair to your spouse to force him to move there. Quit and switch professions. Be a loyal obedient wife.

9 months ago # QUOTE 4 YEA 0 NAY !
Deb

Your commuter marriage is doomed. But you just got a revise and resubmit from Foreign Policy Analysis!!! So it all balances out.

That's awesome. Congrats.

9 months ago # QUOTE 3 YEA 0 NAY !
Marsha

Bump

9 months ago # QUOTE 1 YEA 0 NAY !
Dalton

Career isn't everything. If you'd be happier doing something else and living somewhere else, then there's nothing wrong with leaving.

9 months ago # QUOTE 2 YEA 0 NAY !
Trevor

Wish I had been a fly on the wall during OP's conversation with the spouse. "Honey, I know you spent years earning a PhD and somehow managed to prevail over extraordinary competition to land one of the few highly coveted TT jobs in your subfield. And you are doing well in your new job. But I think the people here are hicks so please find a new TT job in one of the most popular urban areas in the country. Or I'm leaving you."

9 months ago # QUOTE 1 YEA 0 NAY !
Hortensia

Wish I had been a fly on the wall during OP's conversation with the spouse. "Honey, I know you spent years earning a PhD and somehow managed to prevail over extraordinary competition to land one of the few highly coveted TT jobs in your subfield. And you are doing well in your new job. But I think the people here are hicks so please find a new TT job in one of the most popular urban areas in the country. Or I'm leaving you."

This. This is how it sounds to us. Of course you should consider your spouse. But it is a two way street. If you were enough to them they wouldn't threaten leaving you.

9 months ago # QUOTE 1 YEA 0 NAY !

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